Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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