I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
