the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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