Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban