is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
