So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
