don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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