you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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