so that wasnt chicken after all
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
