I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
