Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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