i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
