I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
