If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
