At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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