I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize