i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
