That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
