Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
