nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
