I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
