Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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