Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize