Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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