i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
