If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
