omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Operation Purity has been aborted
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
