I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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