Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
