Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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