"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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