I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
