is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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