clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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