we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
