Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
