My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize