As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
