I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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