Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
