I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
