so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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