eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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