Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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