glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
