Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
