goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
