we made out on top of his cat.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
