her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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