Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
