I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
