My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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