I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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