so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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