Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
