when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
