Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He? As in you personified your dick?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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