I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?