I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
