im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
