What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
