Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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