Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
