Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize